BOY: Can I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isnt heavy.



GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...



GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, whats your phone number??



MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because Im wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.



WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.



MARY : John says Im pretty. Andy says Im ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think youre pretty ugly.



Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the
day time when we dont need it".



Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".


Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"


Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "Its a family tradition".
Teacher : "What does that mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "Shes a woman".


Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I
be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".


Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I dont have to, my mom is a good cook".


Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case Ive treated. The others all died".


Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."